I Need You To Be All I Believe In.

Raise your hand if you woke up totally rested at 6:20 AM!

...So I'm still working on mischief that I can't fully be honest with you about until after tonight. I also probably won't be able to post again until the end of this week-ish. Busy week ahead. We got major mischief to be made (Tonight), Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday is my beautiful friend Carl's birthday. And you know, of course, his party is going to be TMNT. I call Donatello!

3 weeks til school and I could NOT be more excited.

Here's my Fall 2011 Schedule:

Fibers [class of all yarn & thread all the time. It should just be called "Katie" the class]

Sculpture II [I'm going to see about learning to weld, make furniture, and work with wood]

Survey of Asian Art History [Art History.....DROOL]

Independent Study [Being graded for doing my own shit - WIN.]

So, yesterday I found out some tragic news. First of all the lead singer of the 1960s band America passed in his sleep at 60 (he lived in Missouri - who knew?). RIP Dan Peek. Secondly, I tore up heaven and earth (my room) looking for my poetry notebook - my partner in crime, my composition, Harriet the Spy-esque book which I'd been writing in for about 9 months only to find out that the little kitten knocked it into my trashcan (she likes to do this with my books sometimes, rubs her head against them until they fall from my side table) and Mamabird collected the trash the next day and - you guessed it - they collected it that same day.

Some of my best work is at the City Dump now.

[this is going to be the title of my new notebook, which my brother said he is going to pick out - cause he's a sweetie]

It was about half full. I was going to get it published.

Needless to say I cried, Mamabird cried - yesterday was a weird fucking day. It still hurts my heart to think about it. Just laying there. With garbage.

In good news, however, 3 poems from it were saved onto my computer about a month ago because I sent them to Poetry Magazine (only for them to be rejected). I am going to put one (if not all) of these on my POETRY page - a picture of my lost notebook can be seen at the top of the page. Sigh. I guess I really am the sensitive artist type. I could cry right now if I think about it too hard. But then I think about something my friend Dylan (who is going to be known for writing someday, he's amazing) said to me and I feel better,

"When words are lost remember you will always find them again because they were yours, and remember they will be better, for you are better and always will be."

Currently re-reading Ryan Adams' 2009 poetry book Infinity Blues.

"...babycakes

may you always win

for thick claws

and soft skin

dry tears

out the window with my face

on the sky

and what is now left of the wind

the wind of gone."

...is it bad that I keep really thinking about going to the city dump with rubber boots & gloves and looking for my notebook? I already have some volunteers. Anybody else?!

Gotta remember, dreamers, chin up - art is in the heART.

XO.

..And Everybody Tips, But Not Enough To Knock Me Over...

It's been awhile, I know!!!! I've been up to mischief though. Mischief of which I cannot explain until after Monday. :D

Here's a bit of what I was up to this last week:

My friend Cole and his sweet ladyfriend Linda are moving to Vermont as of Saturday and they had a goodbye party at the Mudloung on Saturday. Because they are moving to Vermont and it's fucking freezing there most of the time, I made them my world famous beanies - with a little personal touch for each of them.

The one with the skull & crossbones is Cole's and the heart for Linda.

"I'm never going to wear this, but I lovvvveeeeee it," was the first thing Cole said to me when I gave him his present. He was a few drinks in by now. So basically they were a big hit - did I mention that I made them both in one sitting right before the party?

MMMhhmmmm.

PS Cole makes the best comics this side of the Mississippi check it out:

www.coleclosser.com

That's about it for now, babies. I do have stories to tell you --

Schucking corn, waking up with a large cut on my face and not knowing why, being drunk in front of one of my teachers from school.....the list goes on. All in good time, grasshoppers, all in good time.

So here's the song we all listened to on our way to swim in the Finley River yesterday. Happy Summer!! Be back soon!

Oh, and Dylan, You need to call me. My phone broke recently and I have no old numbers. Yes, my number's still the same. Miss you too. Let's hang before the 5th forever comes around! Maybe cause mischief like that time we went and saw Ryan Adams?? Yes, please.

XO.

Lost My Love Before Her Time/On The Way To Ohio...

Hellooooo, my fair-haired LoveChildren.

So last night on my way home from my friend Amy's house (I stopped there after work), I decided to take a drive through the backwoods of Missouri. Although I have had a love/hate relationship with this forsaken state my whole life, I know when I leave someday [insert the word soon] I will miss this: The Land. There's nothing like sticking your arm straight out the window and pretending to fly while you're speeding down hills at 55 mph. Not to mention that if you're me, you sing REALLY LOUD with music while doing it.

If you're a kid reading this - first of all, sorry about the curse words. You were bound to learn them sooner or later anyways, so shit kid join in. Secondly, it's probably not safe to drive down the curvy, backroads of Missouri with your arm out the window, singing loudly, and speeding. UNLESS you have driven these roads for ages like I have. Then you're allowed, kids, then you're allowed. Don't worry that day will be here soon. Promise.

[Frida Kahlo magnets that I keep on my dashboard. Love]>>>


On top of all this danger, I was also taking pictures while I was driving [the very first picture is one of those]. They were all pretty blurry, so I drove all the way to my star gazing spot in Clever, MO, and got out of the car and took pictures of the moon. Thank goodness human eyes are more receptive than the lens on a camera. The moon was gorgeous last night. If you haven't taken a look recently, you should. It's full right now. Which is probably why I went driving last night. The full moon always makes me restless. Restless for new places, people, and things. I tried calling a few people I knew to go on a drive with me, but they were either busy or sleeping like grandmas - I'm gonna go with the latter just so I maintain my cool status. Haha.

Here is the song I was singing with really loudly:

I don't really know what he's saying for part of the time either, but with Justin Vernon, I think you can just sing melodious notes with him and you're just fine. This is from the new Bon Iver album, which has gotten some critical reviews, but I like it. Love it in fact.
This song was on repeat too:

Did I mention that I drove around for like an hour? Maybe even an hour and a half. I wasn't keeping track. Haha. Nothing like getting a new tank of gas and using part of it up on your own weird, restless whims......
....then coming home and reading some good, good poetry. Right now i'm reading The Captain's Verses by Pablo Neruda (Thanks for taking me to Barnes & Noble that one day, Amy).
"...Like a great storm
we shook
the tree of life...." [From The Son]
XO.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out...

So it was a really weird, and busy week!

It all started when Mamabird and I went to play Bingo with the elderly people at

Republic Senior Center....

We didn't win a SINGLE

GAME!!!! Older people kept calling "Bingo" at all the wrong times, so then when we still had a shred of hope left, we'd resume the unfinished game only to have someone with an actual Bingo win with the next call. Hope Springs Eternal. And Hope is a Bitch. We were sad. So, in order to make myself feel better - I went and got my hairs cut by my prettyful friend Wendy (in order to make herself feel better, Mamabird went and got a Cherry Limeade from Sonic at Happy Hour - oh the life of the Retired!). Wendy traded me a haircut for a painting! Which was totally awesome because I am wayy poor and the painting she wanted (It haunts me because of it's lack of skill - I was just a fledgling when I made it, but she really likes it!) was just sitting getting dusty in our SunRoom. So that was the plan.

But then......THIS HAPPENED:

Part of the deal was that Wendy would wax my eyebrows, but apparently I am allergic to ANYKIND of wax. EVER.

"Your skin bubbled up and started bleeding," she said, "then I went to wipe the blood away and the hair went with it."

So basically, it BURNED MY EYEBROW OFF.

But not to worry, Children of the Revolution, all can be fixed with eyeshadow that is liken- colored to that of my hairs. The only bummer is that if I wanted to be in a Frida Kahlo look-alike contest anytime soon, I would have slim chances of winning. Dangit!!!

The good news though, was that it made me laugh hysterically, and I can add it to the ever lengthening list of "mishaps" that has happened to me over the years. And if you know me well at all - there's a BUNCH of them.

Plus I went home and started this book:

[by David Nicholls, soon to be out as a movie (aug 19thish), yeah it's sappy but whatever man I liked it.]

And finished it today!

Then after that - I took a WONDERFUL NAP.

When I woke up, I made some earrings for my friend Amy Byrum.

which I've never actually made dangly earrings before, so that was interesting and - after a few sailor-y words - FUN.

And besides all these interesting happenings, I also worked about 25 hours at the old CorporateSoulKiller, sketched some more nudie ladies, went swimming with Mamabird at the community center (there were so many old people talking and swimming, I hung out with the Greatest Generation alot this week), started working on some new drapery/material sculpture ideas, and burned the top of my left hand on Amy Byrum's oven.

All in a week's work I guess!

Anyways, here is my love song to you this week:

XO.

Astral Weeks.

Was watching Robin Hood tonight with my fam. I love the Beginning and End Title Conceptual Art Pieces:

Not to mention the beautifully composed original score by Marc Streitenfield. Lovvee.

I've been sketching a lot this weekend. I will take pictures and post them soon. I'm working on my figure drawing and I've decided to start drawing my sculptures too because they show good examples of drapery. More to come dreamers!!

Until then, here is a video of my kitten the other morning when she would NOT get out of my shower. To get her out, I had to literally pick her up and put her far away so I could jump in and turn the water on. What a silly feline. Yes, I made this film in the nude (don't get any ideas though, you can't see me!). Enjoy:

[the buzzing at the beginning is my phone receiving a text.]

Beyond all of this, my big plans tomorrow are to go play Bingo with Mamabird at the Republic Senior Center. They hate it if you win and you're under 50 - here's to hoping I take home the black-out pot!!

XO.

Do Miss America.

So I've noticed on fancier, more business-like blogs people post about what they wear. In a fashion-y sense. Well, dreamers, here's what I wore yesterday when me and some croanies went to eat at Hong Kong Inn.

Hippie Sun Dress.

Flower Trim Headband (that's probably older than I am).

Combat Zipper Boots.

Complimentary (to the dress) Colored Socks.

I don't really care what's "in" or "out" I just wear whatever the hell I'm feelin. You should too. Nothing more beautiful than a person being them self. All the time. Keep that in mind :)

XO.

Don't Fail Me Now.

Well, kids, I did it today. Or yesterday technically. I broke my blue funk that I have been in for the last week.

At least for now. I find that sometimes, and often it seems, in the art world that you (and your creative friends might suffer at the same time as you sometimes) will hit bottom and go up, then down, then up, and down again. This is just the creative cross we bear. Some days you will feel like you are on top of the whole world with your work, then the next day you feel completely cliche and lame. It totally happens to all of us. Don't fret though! I find that putting on a good record and working (usually by yourself is best - i get distracted by other people because i love talking so much) through those dark thoughts and eventually you will find what you need or where you needed to be.

Brick City is MSU's modest art department (I say modest because some rooms lack curtains and we are without air conditioning right now - the main campus does all but ignore us. I'm not bitter about it. At. All. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, they can't even keep a president for more than a year. ZING.) so if you ever hear me say "I was at Brick" or "I'm headed to Brick City," it's not just some fancy fantasy place I made up. It's a real place (downtown off of Boonville & Mill Street, right over the railroad tracks. Go here for more info.) although I do make up places a lot. haha.

Anyways, I worked there by myself for about 4 hours today. I worked before that when people were still there for about 2.5. So I was in the studio almost 7 hours today. Love. It. Here's what I am currently working on:

For the last semester, I have been working with steel wire and textured/flesh-colored material. I really want my upcoming Senior Show to deal with the idea of being "in utero" and how after birth, people often make "nests" for themselves to try and feel as content as they did in the womb. So, as you can see, this sculpture to the left (It's probably about a foot tall and juts off the wall) looks very vaginal. It's not sexual or about women's lib (although we all know how i feel about women's rights FIST PUMP.) It's about feeling safe. A refuge. A Fortress.

<< [Click to see enlarged]

& this one is covered in a rough blue/green couch material on the outside and a silky, fleshy material on the inside.

>>

this sculpture, however, I am covering with lace and 1960s white curtain material. It looks like a butterfly, bird, winged creature taking flight. I think that I am going to have some materials come out of the the slit in the middle.

<<

this one is not new, I made it as my final project last semester. I was just so proud of how it turned out, I set it back up today in comparison with the newest pieces. Yes, those are spiky gumballs I picked out of Mama Kopaska's yard last fall. They symbolize a cut up inside in comparison with a silky, pristine outside. Sometimes a person can build their "nest" this way. Did I mention that that red thing at the bottom is a zipper? It was my grandmother's and is probably twice my age. I found a bag of her zippers (she kept everything, Great Depression Child) in my room and wanted to incorporate it in the piece because now she is a part of it too :). Not to mention the ambiguity of the zipper itself in contrast with being "in utero."

This is the three of them lined up. I like how the colors are looking together so far. We'll see where they all go!!

....Oh and when I said just put on a good record before? Here is the song I had on repeat while I was creating this afternoon. Cleans the soul nicely:

XO.